i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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