oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
