Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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