i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
