woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
