isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
