i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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