I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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