i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
