No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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