i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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