I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
