My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
