i already hear my dad disowning me
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
