i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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