im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
