"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
