3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
