My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
