I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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