We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
