Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i will never coherently bang her
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
