and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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