i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
