Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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