tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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