Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
