I look better un-naked...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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