I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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