Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
