he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
