dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
