I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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