Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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