real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so that wasnt chicken after all
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
