Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
