I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
