my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
