Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
