The maid of honor just puked.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
