Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
There r osticjed everywhere
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
