There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
