i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Acid is not a monday night drug
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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