I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
