And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Sponge bath it is.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
