Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize