Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize