She said her name was "party"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
