he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
