It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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