I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
