fuck your aforementioned shoe
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
