You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Shame - the story of my life.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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