I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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