Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
