That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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