i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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