We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize